Marvel comics has come forward today to announce their new superhero. Though whether this character is truly “new” or not could be a matter of debate. Marvel has decided to reimagine the Thor comics by introducing him as a her.
Thor is apparently now no longer worthy of wielding his power as the God of Thunder. So Mjolnir has found a new wielder in a brand new female hero who has proven her worth and emerged as the new Mighty Thor. Marvel editor Will Moss has said that “The inscription on Thor’s hammer reads ‘Whosoever holds this hammer, if HE be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.’ Well it’s time to update that inscription.”It is a change that Marvel is calling “shocking” and “exciting”.
I call it fucking sad and pathetic. Marvel has prostituted itself out to some really idiotic people with stupid ideas in the past. There was the ridiculously complicated Clone Saga, then One More Day;of which the less said about the better. There was Storm marrying Black Panther, which is something I will never forgive Marvel for until the day they all burn in the flames of hell. Or Emma Frost hooking up with Cyclops, an event for which everyone involved should be anally-probed with rusted out chainsaws dipped in battery acid. But now they’re trying to pander to the absolute lowest aspect of humanity, feminists and the social justice crowd.
Jason Aaron, who will be writing the series, has gone on record as saying that this is not going to be “Lady Thor”, or “She-Thor”, or “Thorita”. This is Thor, the one true Thor of the Marvel Universe. Meanwhile the Thor that everyone is largely aware of will apparently be deemed “unworthy” of his powers and no longer be able to wield his hammer. Which makes it seem likely that they’re making a calculated effort to leave room to bring back the original Thor when this idea goes tits-up.
There is seriously so much that is wrong with this bullshit that we had to do bullet points just to sort it out. So here are all of the reasons, just off the top of our head that this is a fucking stupid idea.
- It is being done not to make a better story, but simply to pander to idiots. There is no story reason to make the change. It won’t make Thor comics inherently better to mess up the lore like this. It is not a narrative change. It is being done for no other reason than pure pandering. It is terrible writing, it is terrible marketting, it is terrible business, it is plainly and simply a terrible idea.
- Thor is based on a character from mythical lore. That character is not female. So making him a female for no reason messes up the lore.
Look, let’s be honest here. I know Jason Aaron tried to say that this character will not be “She-Thor” but yes, she will exactly be “She-Thor” you dumbass ink-jockey. Just because you say “This is Thor” does not mean it is. Thor is not just whatever asshole wields his electrically enhanced phallic symbol. He is a character with thoughts, personality, friends, loved ones, enemies and history. He is the son of Odin, the brother of Loki. Guardian of Midgard. You can’t just go off and turn some vacant-eyed bimbo into Thor just because you don’t like the fact that the inscription on the hammer is gender specific. The inscription is that whosoever wields the hammer will posses the power of Thor. Not be Thor. Beta Ray Bill and Thunderstrike can wield the hammer too, but they are not Thor.
- It sends the message that the only way to make a decent female superhero is if you take a male superhero and give it female reproductive organs. A female character can’t stand on her own merits, she has to have a male character do all the work for her. Then once the hard work is done and the franchise is established the little lady can take over. This is, of course, how feminism has always operated but you don’t have to apply the same principles to your comics.
- They’re doing this to appeal to women, when there were already dozens of existing female characters that could have been used and given their own series. I can think of ten already existing female characters just off the top of my head that I would like to see have a series of their own (see below). They could have highlighted the female heroes they have, rather than take a male hero who’s very popular and change him for the purposes of riding the original Thors cape.
- As mentioned above, they are doing this to appeal to women. To get them reading comics, except women weren’t reading comics before despite all of the perfectly good female superheroes they had. That’s why there aren’t a lot of singular female superheroes with their own comics. If women had been interested in, and supported those comics and characters before this wouldn’t be an issue now. But they didn’t, and they still won’t because it’s not a pasttime most women care about. That’s why you don’t see these same femfucks who are bitching about these things writing their own comic books. Because they don’t really care about the comics or the characters. They just care about getting everyone else to do what they want them to.
But don’t take it from me. Listen to some of the fans.
Look Marvel, try to understand this. It does not matter what you do to appease feminists. They will whine and bitch regardless because, surprise, they’re a bunch of whiny bitches. Complaining and playing the victim is all that gets these people up in the morning and allows them to make it through their normal day. Shit like this won’t matter because it’s not really about women to them, it’s about power. The power to play the victim and to get their way because of it. The women who actually read comics are not going to give a shit about this. The ones who are bitching are the ones who don’t really read comics, but feel that somewhere someway, there is some segment of reality that is not exactly the way they want it. You cannot appease them, you cannot reason with them, they do not feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are their slave.
Note:There is now a new blogpost on this topic regarding the recent issues of the comic.Click here to view it.